No matter what the circumstances, going through a divorce is hard. Most people don't get married thinking that the marriage may end, so dissolving the union can take huge mental and emotional tolls on both parties. But when it comes to a divorce, it is essential that you proceed in a certain way in order to ensure that the dissolution is settled fairly for both parties involved. During the divorce process you may not feel like yourself, and you may not feel happy- but it is essential that you think clearly for your own benefit, as well as the benefit of your children. If you are filing for divorce, avoid these common mistakes:
Not Hiring a Lawyer
It doesn't matter if you and your spouse came to an amicable decision to divorce, or if the two of you have been fighting like cats and dogs and one party eventually filed for a dissolution of marriage- it is always in your best interest to hire a divorce attorney. The period of time between filing for a divorce and having everything legally settled is very emotional for most people; the legal system is complicated enough, so you can't expect to be making the best decisions during your divorce, especially if you have no experience in the legal field. You need someone who understands divorce and the legal system to represent you and act in your best interest when you are not able to. Your divorce attorney will take care of all the legal aspects, so you can focus on yourself and your children.
Involving the Kids
Anger, betrayal, and sadness are all common emotions that you may feel during your divorce, but no matter how you feel about your spouse, you should never involve your children. Even if you want to lash out and say something bad about the person that you are divorcing, don't say it to your kids. The best thing that you can do during a divorce is take steps to co-parent cooperatively so your children don't suffer. Divorce is a big change in the lifestyle of any kid; talking bad to him or her about his or her other parent will only make the adjustment worse, and make the child feel like he or she is in the middle.
Refusing Mediation or Negotiation
Since the divorce process can be so emotional and depressing, it is in your best interest to attempt to settle the terms of your divorce without having to go to court. Refusing mediation or negotiation will only drag out the process longer, which prevents you from being able to move on and deal with the divorce in a healthy way. Work with a divorce attorney that you can trust, and always try to settle the terms of your divorce without going to court, if possible.